3. Egg Retrieval

 

Egg Retrieval

Friday

We stayed over the bridge somewhere and made it to the appointment. We pack up our stuff and put the kids and the dog in the car. Pretty exhausted. This does not line up with my plan of no stress and being in bed early. At the appointment, they said I had one follicle ready and another 5 almost ready (1mm off) so the egg collection can go ahead. They also gave some negative news. My progesterone is way too high. Double what It should be. Can’t help thinking that is something that I have done something that will happen again. My anxiety levels are incredibly heightened and little things are setting me off. I guess this could also be due to high progesterone and would explain my extremely heavy period before. No matter how much we think we are in control. God Controls everything. Even IVF. I need to put my “But I want an ompalumpa now!”Violet mentality from Charlie and the chocolate factory away.  I need to trust him and work on my patience. After all I need to look at the positives that we can still go ahead with the transfer. Maybe this is even better. This will allow my body to reset and heal. To give it the best possible chance to support a baby. In the meantime I am stupid googling how to fix high progesterone. Most people only have solutions for low progesterone. I don’t know how to fix this. I think I might stop the green tea and supplements. Maybe really have a look at all of my supplements. No more Maca powder either. But either way. I am not in control. The needles really hurt tonight. I had to do them reclined in bed because of the nausea and dizzy head. That was a bad idea. It hurt so much more. I cried. First cry of this cycle. I ate some ice cream and got over it. I will be standing from now on. I am running out of places to stab. Only one more day of Gonal F and orgalatrun. Yay. Then on Sunday, I do the trigger shot. 

Saturday

Today was tough. I feel 6 months pregnant and it is uncomfortable to sit. Any bending really feels like a no go. I felt like resting the whole day and I am super hormonal. Tonight is my last set of Gonal F and orgalatrun. My husband and I have a system. He counts down from 3 and then sticks me with the needle. Because of last night I had some difficulty getting the needles done as he counts down “3,2,1” my body instinctively moved away and I psych myself out. The only thing that had helped me is if the counting while I breathe in and then while the needle is injecting me, I breathe out for 5. For some reason, breathing out takes all the pain and anxiety away. The needles are definitely harder to cope with when I am not mentally strong. Tomorrow we get to do Ovidrel trigger shot at exactly 10:30pm. I am looking forward to this being over. My emotions are too much. I am feeling a lot of symptoms of my Adrenal Insufficiency and I need to up my medication a bit. Similar to when I am ovulating or on my period so, not too bad. 

Sunday

Anxious, extremely bloated/swollen in my abdomen and my moods are bad. I am getting upset at the stupidest things and then I am upset that I am upset. My poor husband bears most of the brunt. Only two more days until egg retrieval. I had a nightmare last night that I had developed a new condition called “invisible period” (totally made up-thanks brain) and essentially this meant (in the dream) that I had lost all of my eggs and there were none to collect.) so that was fun. I basically did not sleep well. Probably exacerbating my moods even more. Now I’m lying in bed wondering if I actually need to be resting or if I should force myself to do stuff and be distracted. Either way I need to fix this bad spoilt teenager attitude. I’m sure it doesn’t suit this 31 year old. Up I get to waddle around the house probably to snap at everyone. Maybe I should lock myself in this room until it is all over. I’m on holidays now so at least I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. I can just sit here like a beached whale and not have to explain why I look and act like a pregnant lady. I didn’t realise that it would take so much room. I don’t even want to eat. I wonder how many eggs I have in there? 

Monday 

So bloated. So uncomfortable. I am finding it hard to sit. I have ovulation pain when I stand and I am ready for this to be all over. I have told myself I am not allowed to play the “what if game?” What if I have no eggs? What if there is no sperm? What if none of the eggs get fertilised? What if…“shut up brain!” I have packed my bag and I am ready to go for tomorrow. I won’t be allowed to eat after midnight. I don’t know how my blood sugar will go tomorrow. I am worried about how my body will respond to the anaesthetic as I also have the MTHFR gene mutation. I’m also worried about going into an Adrenal crisis. They are going to give me a stress dose but I am not sure when. Anyways, there is no point worrying now. I am going to have a relaxing night and go to bed with some melatonin and I am going to stay out of my brain. Denial is the best idea for me right now. No shots today. 

Tuesday

Today is the day. Going to get all these suckers out of my body. I feel like they are sitting in my hips. It is a weird sensation. My 3 year old is asking why God decided to make the day overcast and my 6 year old reminds us in the car that “God is the controller of everything…” I pray to God that his will is done. 

We get lost in the hospital but finally find our way there. I haven’t had anything to eat and my blood sugar and blood pressure are plummeting. They keep asking me questions but my brain doesn’t work. I go to the first room. It is so dungeon-esk that I want to run away. I should have brought more hydrocortisone with me. I pray the whole time that I don’t pass out. I am then asked to strip off all my clothes and get into my gown. I have a bright red hair net as I am the allergy patient. I am then walked to another awful room where I sit facing the wall for the next 1.5 hours. They could have put a painting or something in there. There are 4 other ladies waiting. No one looks at me, no one speaks and it is so awkward. I feel like being the one to speak out “well this is fun!” or “hey! what kind of fertility problems do you have?” But once you start talking, you have to keep talking. So basically we all sat there pretending no one else existed. Waiting was the worst part of this. They then took me to another room in which people kept walking in and out of saying “not long now…” half an hour later I was taken in to the sterile room with 6 or more people in it. The nurse asked me to take off my front dressing gown so now my butt is exposed. I haven’t even seen my butt for a few days as I have been avoiding mirrors. But now everybody can take a looksie. Oh well. They gave me the sleepy stuff and some extra hydrocortisone to make it through the procedure without an adrenal crisis. 

They woke me up an hour later and I don’t remember them moving me. They told me I was hypotensive and my blood pressure is still low but they let me go home after I ate and drank some juice. I was super annoying and chatty on the way home. I could hear myself talking too much but I couldn’t stop. My husband just said I sounded happy chatty. Must be the drugs. I feel really good. I love a good drug induced nap. I actually feel better than I did before I went in. My stomach feels lighter. I have a small amount of cramping but I would describe it as more like a pressure feeling. Honestly, my periods are worse. I take Panadol anyway in case I need it on the way home and I am glad I did. The nurse wrote the number of eggs on my hand but I couldn’t figure it out. I ended up asking another nurse what it meant. It looked like a parenthesis and then two circles. (00 At first I though it was 100 eggs but knew that can’t be right. She said it was an 8 with a smiley face. I see it now but the 8 is sideways. So we have 8 healthy eggs that they are fertilising as we speak. I was fully expecting to have bad nausea especially because I had nausea all of stimulation but I had zero nausea after the procedure. My husband had to do his PESA procedure around the same time as me. His left side was completely scarred over but they found some sperm in his right. So all good news I guess. Now Ii just need to focus on getting my body and more hormones into a good place to grow a baby. This is going to be a tough month ahead. I have been doing some research to lower progesterone levels so basically I am going to check my vitamins, exercise everyday, have zero caffeine and go to sleep early. Hopefully this should be enough to get my body ready and lower progesterone levels. God willing. For now, bed rest.