9. 5 weeks pregnant

5 weeks pregnant

(My last entry in This IVF journal) 

I acknowledge that IVF may seem daunting, impossible and scary but in all reality it is just a bunch of tiny steps put together into this package called “ivf.” 

 Tiny steps (backward or forward) are still steps forward. That is the reality of time- you can’t actually go backward even though it feels like you have) I also acknowledge that someone else’s journey may not be as “straightforward” as ours was. We got it first try. We are very blessed, overwhelmed and grateful.

Some may do this for years. Some may give up. Some may be worn down until there is nothing left of them and their relationship. Fortunately, we never had to experience this. I acknowledge that ivf was a huge toll on my health, our lives and our relationship but it was so worth it. If you were to ask me if I would do it all over again. Well, that depends on the outcome doesn’t it? Knowing what I know now. Yes, I would do it again. Anything for this little life inside me. And so I can’t say I am sad to end this journal, as I begin this new chapter of pregnancy (and freaking out about that instead.) I would however like to leave you with a quote from the Bible. So despite this precious baby being “created” in a lab. Really, nothing could have been done without the master creator creating it in the first place. He created this little baby in my womb. And He already knows them… 

Psalm 139:13-16

New Living Translation

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvellous—how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

Whatever season you’re in, may you know that God is near, weaving beauty from the waiting. You are not alone. Whether or not your longing is fulfilled in the way you hope, may you know that you are deeply loved, and may God bless you with peace, strength, and unshakable hope.